Clarifying Your Values

As a coach, I have several tools and techniques to help my clients identify their values (like family, leadership, loyalty or fun), and how those values influence every area of their life.  When working with my coach to identify my values, I went through a list and was pretty quickly able to determine which values were important to me.  But when we got to the value of adventure, I was stuck.  I explained to my coach that I didn’t really feel like I could list adventure as one of my top three values because even though I love the idea of adventure, I haven’t really had any big adventures in my life.  I thrive on predictability and structure so to list adventure as a value didn’t really feel true to who I was.  On the other hand, that predictability can become boring over time and I’m always looking for new ways to break up the monotony.  My coach listened to me, paused for a second and said, “so what I’m hearing is that your value isn’t ‘capital A - Adventure’; your value is ‘little a - adventure.”  And at that moment, something just clicked.  ‘Little a - adventure’ is a huge value for me.  Finding new experiences close to home, learning new things, trying new hobbies are all ‘little a - adventures’ that I need to feel balanced and fulfilled.  Almost a year after this conversation I still think about how I’m going to include a ‘little a - adventure’ (and yes, I still call it a ‘little a - adventure’ in my head) into my week.

Working with a coach and understanding those little nuances about yourself can make a tremendous difference in how you approach new opportunities and how you deal with stress.  Identifying and really understanding what your values are sets up a strong foundation for coaching.  As you continue to work with your coach, diving deeper into specific areas of your life, you will always have your values as a touchstone.  When you are facing a major decision or just feeling overwhelmed, you can refer back to your values and discuss with your coach if they are being challenged, aren’t being met, or just need to be reassessed.